


[FANMIX] the werewolf and the shapeshifter

by 100indecisions



Series: Time & Werewolves [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Character Death Fix, Deathly Hallows AU, Deathly Hallows Fix, F/M, Family, Fanmix, Gen, Music, Post-War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-03
Updated: 2008-08-17
Packaged: 2018-05-18 23:33:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5947483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/100indecisions/pseuds/100indecisions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two old fanmixes for Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. an ending that fits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and Tonks didn't die because I say so, okay? That's it, that's the entire point of this fanmix. Originally posted on LJ in early 2008.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This mix never would've have happened at all except that it occurred to me while on vacation, "Hey, several of the songs on my existing and crazy-long Remus/Tonks list are on the Remus-and-Tonks-don't-die theme. Hey, I could do a mix specifically on that! And as a bonus, it wouldn't include most of the boring songs on my RT list that are making me have no interest in finishing it!" So I did. And then it grew, as such things do, but--this is a first--it's actually not insanely long for the first time _ever_.
> 
> Thus: my second completed fanmix ever, on an extremely specific topic, I present "An Ending That Fits: A Remus/Tonks Denial!Mix," which is basically what it says on the tin. I am firmly in denial, you see; in my personal canon, Remus and Tonks never died. (At least I think that's how my personal canon will go. There's simple denial like that, and then there's the more complicated variety where they died or almost died or sort of died and ended up very not dead in the end, through their own efforts or those of somebody else...like the Doctor, in the crossover I have in mind.) Because it has this particular focus, too, it's remarkably free of angst...and I decided not to sweat the fact that I broke one of fanmixing's unwritten rules and included two songs each by not one but two artists. Oh well.
> 
> However it happened or didn't happen, though, it doesn't really matter. Remus/Tonks has always been my OTP, so yeah, I was more than a little upset by their deaths in the Battle of Hogwarts and by the way it didn't even happen onscreen. And then I realized that it was, in a way, a gift. Unlike with James, Lily, Sirius, and Dumbledore, among others, Remus' and Tonks's deaths are supported by basically no additional canon or references in the future. Only two real reasons support their deaths at all: Remus' inclusion in the Resurrection Stone scene, and having a next-generation orphan with a much better childhood than Harry's. Other than that--zilch. You can't even say from the epilogue that Teddy's clearly an orphan.
> 
> Admittedly my personal canon's been shaken a bit by fernwithy's excellent Teddy stories, just because I like her fanon so much, and like I said, I'm not sure how my personal canon goes exactly, but somehow or other, Remus and Tonks didn't die. I'm going with plenilune's [version of things](http://archiveofourown.org/works/30671) (which is also all things beautiful and shiny) for now, and since this mix is sort of a late extra Christmas present for her, it's kind of based on that anyway.

  
[](https://8tracks.com/100indecisions/an-ending-that-fits-a-remus-tonks-denial-mix)   [](https://8tracks.com/100indecisions/an-ending-that-fits-a-remus-tonks-denial-mix)

[ **an ending that fits: a Remus/Tonks denial mix** ](https://8tracks.com/100indecisions/an-ending-that-fits-a-remus-tonks-denial-mix)

(Yes. The cover and back look _totally different_. Just...pretend I did it because it's symbolic and stuff, like, Remus and Tonks are polar opposites but they fit anyway, which sounds better than "I couldn't find other pictures that really worked". Both photos, and the old-paper texture on the back cover, are from sxc.hu.)

 

**someday - nickelback**  
_Now the story's played out like this_  
_Just like a paperback novel_  
_Let's rewrite an ending that fits_  
_Instead of a Hollywood horror_

The actual subject of this song has nothing whatsoever to do with this mix (and yeah, I know, Nickelback). But this part here is so completely perfect I had to include it. Heck, I even got my mix title from it.

 

**another town - regina spektor**  
_In another town_  
_They've given me the key_  
_In another town_  
_I'm drinking for free_  
_In another town_  
_A girl just like me_  
_In another town_  
_But I know, I know, I know_  
_In another town_  
_The light fills my room_  
_In another town_  
_They're painting my moon_  
_In another town_  
_I won't see it soon_  
_But I know, I know, I know_  
_I love you..._

This is going to sound very silly to anyone who wasn't as upset by their deaths as I was (and by "upset" I mean I haven't re-read the book yet even once, I was in something of a funk for two or three days after it sank in that Rowling had really killed them off, and I felt sick to my stomach when I realized they were dead--denial was about the only place I could go with that), but the first way I comforted myself was by clinging to the idea of parallel universes--a literal AU, in a way. I have no idea what I believe about parallel universes in real life, but in fiction, well, sure. (Have to for Doctor Who, after all.) So that's what I told myself--it's okay, because if this is the sort of parallel-universe setup where new ones split off at every fork in the road, so that everything that can happen has happened, then of course Remus and Tonks are still alive _somewhere_.

 

**gravity - vienna teng**  
_Look love_  
_They've given up believing_  
_They've turned aside our stories of the gentle fall_

_But don't you believe them_  
_Don't you drink their poison too_  
_These are the scars that words have carved_  
_On me_

_This the same place_  
_No, not the same place_  
_This is the same place, love_  
_No, not the same place we've been before_

It's not the same place at all. It's a place where Remus and Tonks never died, for one thing, but no matter where they end up, it's different. There was another war, and children went down fighting, children and very old friends--but there's Teddy, too, and a new world that comes with him.

 

**borrowed time - a fine frenzy**  
_step, step right over the line_  
_and onto borrowed time_  
_when it’s life, not waiting to die_  
_waiting to divide_  
_to divide_

War always takes people. Remus and Tonks, originally, weren't supposed to die; Arthur Weasley was supposed to die in OotP. Things change. But in a way that's like real life: we never know when our time's going to come, whether we think we're ruled by God or fate or free will or some omnipotent author of another kind. The only thing to do is live.

 

**in our bedroom after the war - stars**  
_Lift your head, and look out the window,_  
_Stay that way for the rest of the day_  
_And watch the time go._  
_Listen, the birds sing,_  
_Listen, the bells ring._  
_All the living are dead,_  
_And the dead are all living,_  
_The war is over, and we are beginning._

_Here it comes, here comes the first day,_  
_Here it comes, here comes the first day,_  
_It starts up in our bedroom after the war,_  
_It starts up in our bedroom after the war._  
_After the war._

Like "Someday," the actual topic of this song has nothing to do with what I'm talking about here. If you pretend it's talking literally, though, it fits; it speaks to the exhaustion after a war that nobody thought would ever truly end and the slow return to normality, even though some things--like Ted Tonks's death--mean that life will never really be the same again.

 

**the new year - azure ray**  
_We pried open my window_  
_And let the summer rush in_  
_And we laughed with the new air_  
_Now I lay and watch the green leaves_  
_Dance and whisper sweet breath_  
_A promise of a new year_

_On this day  
We were born into the new year_

_And after the winter broke_  
_We held hands and we ran_  
_And we agreed that it had been a long one_

It's been a long, long year, in more ways than one--the deaths, the hiding, Remus leaving again and coming back, the final battle, the culmination of years of struggle in the sacrifice of a single teenage boy. But now, for the first time in a very long time, things can really be _new_ again.

 

**life is beautiful - vega4**  
_When you run into my arms,_  
_We steal a perfect moment._  
_Let the monsters see you smile,_  
_let them see you smile_  
_and do I hold you too tightly?_  
_When will the hurt kick in?_

_Life is beautiful_  
_But it's complicated,_  
_We barely make it._  
_We don't need to understand,_  
_There are miracles, miracles._

_Stand where you are,  
We let all these moments pass us by..._

_It's amazing where I'm standing,  
There's a lot left we can give._

It's always the little, inconsequential moments that are the most important. After losing so much and coming so close to losing each other, Remus and Tonks know that better than anybody.

 

**all eternal things - trembling blue stars**  
_Although there is now hope, embers of sadness still glow._  
_Something hasn't quite flown._  
_But I know you're there to catch me now._

_All eternal things, the moon, the sea, the turning leaves, speak to something within._  
_And you ease the longing too._  
_My reason. My sunlight. My lifeline._

_All eternal things and you, how this frightened heart they soothe.  
You and the seasons will pull me through._

Remus and hope have not, as a rule, gotten on well. He's been a werewolf since he was a child, with all the prejudice and physical and emotional pain that go with his lycanthropy; he finds good things only to lose them, to war, to betrayal, to discrimination, to Fenrir Greyback, to his own clueless, noble nature that insists he will only hurt those he loves.

But now the war's over, he has a beautiful wife who took him back again when he didn't deserve it (or her), he even has a child--he hasn't dared to dream this could be possible for _years_. There's still sadness, still death, and the wolf-madness still visits him once a month. But he's beginning to believe that things can be okay, even for him; and sometimes, when he wakes in the middle of the night to see Dora sleeping beside him, he doesn't immediately think that he must be dreaming.

 

**home - azure ray**  
_Just an hour and we'll be home_  
_With my family that I chose_  
_You're my family_  
_And on the pavement still gripping the phone_  
_You came and wrapped your arms around my soul_  
_And we were shaking and you're so much a part of me_

The Tonkses have never exactly been orthodox. Andromeda got herself burned off the Black family tapestry for marrying a Muggleborn, and then their daughter went and married a werewolf. (And whatever Remus was projecting on other people, Ted and Andromeda were never anywhere near as against the marriage as Remus said.) Even among people who didn't already hate them, like Bellatrix, it raised plenty of eyebrows.

But that's the beauty of it. Remus and Tonks made a family together because they chose to, not because it made sense or because people approved. And as long as they had that love, no matter where they ended up--a London flat, Andromeda's house, the Shrieking Shack--they were _home_.

 

**mushaboom - feist**  
_I got a man to stick it out_  
_And make a home from a rented house (oh oh oh)_  
_And we'll collect the moments one by one_  
_I guess that's how the future's done (oh oh oh)_

It's not all easy, of course. Living never is. But that's okay too. They're learning to take the minutes one by one and cherish all of them.

 

**simple life - the weepies**  
_I'll kiss you awake, and we'll have time_  
_To know our neighbors all by name_  
_And every star at night._  
_We'll weave our days together like waves_  
_And particles of light._

_I want only this, I want to live  
I want to live a simple life._

Remus has never had very grand ambitions. He'll fight for the things and people he loves, of course, whether that means going undercover with Greyback's pack, taking part in battles that could easily kill him, or spreading the truth on Potterwatch. But what he's really fighting for--down deep, even if it's taken him a very long time to realize it or to think he deserves to pursue it--isn't peace in the abstract, it's peace that will let him really live, taking joy and wonder in all the little beautiful ordinary moments. And Tonks, Auror and dreamer that she is, really wants the same thing.

 

**now three - vienna teng**  
_City fast asleep._  
_Clouds up on the hill._  
_So quiet, so still._  
_Dreams of rain in sheets, dreams of ice and wings._  
_So delicate, these things._  
_Love is a word so small._  
_Let it fill up 'til I can't see at all._

_Strangest beauty cries, one and one, by and by, now three of us here lie._  
_Love for one so small, come fill me up 'til I can't see at all._  
_I want to be blind, only my hands to guide me._  
_Gather all the world inside me._

Teddy Lupin was born, and he changed their world, wonderful and impossible and impossibly tiny little human being with a real future ahead of him, not one of hiding and flinching at shadows.

 

**in my arms - plumb**  
_Castles they might crumble_  
_dreams may not come true_  
_but you are never all alone_  
_because I will always_  
_always love you_

_when the_  
_clouds will rage and_  
_storms will race in_  
_but you will be safe_  
_in my arms_  
_rains will pour down_  
_waves will crash around_  
_but you will be safe_  
_in my arms_

I thought of this as a Remus/Tonks song (especially of the "Remus and Tonks live!" variety) as soon as I heard it, and only realized after reading the lyrics that the artist is singing to her child, not to her husband. So okay, it's another song for Teddy, but a good deal of it can be Remus and Tonks to each other, too: even Hogwarts might fall, but not them.

 

**grow old with me - the postal service**  
_Spending our lives together_  
_Man and wife together_  
_World without end_  
_World without end_

_Grow old along with me_  
_Whatever fate decrees_  
_We will see it through_  
_For our love is true_  
_God bless our love_  
_God bless our love_

Remus and Tonks, maybe more than any other couple I can think of, deserve to grow old together. They deserve a quiet life of taking pleasure in the little moments, of always finding out new things about each other, of simply being happy with each other after going through at least two years of absolute hell, of looking back and looking ahead and never losing sight of the present.

So that's what I'm giving them. After everything that's been thrown at them, it's only what they ought to have.

 

**remember - air**  
_Remember together_  
_Remember forever_  
_Remember together_  
_Remember forever_

_Souviens toi, ce jour là, toi et moi_

They will never forget. That's one of the reasons they have to survive--because there has to be someone left to remember.

 

**the moon is down - explosions in the sky**  
_[instrumental]_

With only a few beautiful exceptions, the moon has ruled Remus Lupin's entire existence. With Tonks, who is more colorful and alive than anyone he's met in a long, long time, he slowly learns to take back his life and really _live_. After all, the full moon only rises once a month. There's plenty of living to be had in all the days between.


	2. under a brighter sky: songs for war's end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and Tonks didn't die in the Battle of Hogwarts. Now comes the hard part: figuring out life after the war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two out of my three finished fanmixes are Remus/Tonks denial!mixes. Is that bad? That might be bad. (For what it’s worth, my most nearly finished mixes are all for Doctor Who.)
> 
> In any case, this mix is a sequel of sorts to “An Ending That Fits,” my first denial!mix. That one focused more on the life they should have had, growing old together in peace; this one, for some reason, took more a focus of “The war’s finally over, and now we can get back to that business of living." I suppose it's less a sequel than...a counterpart? Something. I don't even know. Mostly this mix came about because I stumbled across a couple songs that would've been perfect on my original mix had I not already finished it, and it sort of grew from there. With some prodding, I'll admit. I've also, um, committed the fanmixing sin yet again of having multiple songs by multiple artists--two each by Stars, Beirut, God Is an Astronaut, Delerium--but, you know. More pretty.

 

 

  
[](https://8tracks.com/100indecisions/under-a-brighter-sky-songs-for-war-s-end)    [](https://8tracks.com/100indecisions/under-a-brighter-sky-songs-for-war-s-end)

[ **under a brighter sky: songs for war's end** ](https://8tracks.com/100indecisions/under-a-brighter-sky-songs-for-war-s-end)

**after the curtain - beirut**  
_what can you do  
when the curtain falls_

_what will you do  
when the curtain falls_

**the beginning after the end - stars**  
_O the blood and the treasure,_  
_and then losing it all,_  
_the time that we wasted,_  
_and the place where we fall._  
_Will we wake in the morning_  
_and know what it was all for?_  
_Up in our bedroom after the war._

 **all is violent, all is bright - god is an astronaut**  
_[instrumental]_

 **call to arms - angels & airwaves **  
_Do you feel like you've lost everything you can lose?  
This is it, can you hear me?_

 _When you can't get up, you gotta get up and try_  
_This is it, can you feel me?_  
_When the bombs come down, you will make it alive_  
_If you only, if you wanna believe._

 _I'd like to say that you're my only fear_  
_And when I dream, it slowly disappears_  
_And when I wake, I'm right here by your side_  
_To feel your heart beat in and out of time._

 **my family's role in the world revolution - beirut** *  
_[instrumental]_

 **dreamlife - sleeping at last**  
_As our hearts lay sleeping,_  
_As our bodies rest,_  
_The heavens open up for us._  
_Put down your weapon, child,_  
_And close your eyes,_  
_Because you and your enemies_  
_Are innocent tonight._

_I just want to survive with you by my side.  
With you by my side, I just want to survive._

_Crooked mouth, quiet down._  
_Let your fists come undone._  
_Miscarried love will be reborn._  
_When we sleep,_  
_The devil’s arms are tied._

_The war that we’re fighting  
Has already been won._

**how you survived the war - the weepies**  
_You never change your mind once it's made up  
Unless it's to crawl back on your knees_

 _Is that the way you want it?_  
_You get back to the wall_  
_And put your hands up_  
_It's a holdup_  
_You give up like every time before_  
_That is how you survived the war_

 _You're not gonna lose this one_  
_You don't have to cut and run_  
_I think you can choose to love and what is more_  
_That is how you survived the war_

 _Now in a summer's day, spring a ripened plum_  
_How will you live under the sun?_  
_You follow the open road, remembering the guns_  
_When you get lost under the trees_

 **not alone - seabird**  
_At arm's length, you held your spouse and children._  
_Your lake of grace so nearly killed them._  
_Forgiveness still breathes, but he may not wake for years._  
_He's promised me still that this won't end in tears._

_'Cause we're not alone, no we're not alone now, honey.  
Save your own 'cause we're not alone._

_Back home to find the garden as you left it._  
_Roses in full bloom, so glad you invested._  
_So you found this room couldn't hold you down._  
_Stepped through these walls and taste life to the fullest._

 _Hold us close, it meant so much._  
_Maybe more than you knew._  
_Laugh a while, burn like fire._

_We'll make it home 'cause we're not alone._

**when i return to the world - lorraine**  
_Into a dream I run away_  
_Saw the heavens disappear_  
_The beat was fast and I was scared_  
_Somehow I thought I'd meet you there_

_But I know when I return to the world I'll be free_

_An ocean way above my head_  
_I'm thrown into another spell_  
_Will I wake up I wonder where_  
_Can't wait to tell you where I've been_

_Well now I remember when I return to the world I'll be free_

**the night starts here - stars**  
_The pleasure part, the afterthought, the missing stone in the graveyard_  
_The time we have, the task at hand, the love it takes to become a man_  
_The dust at dawn is rained upon, attaches itself to everyone_  
_No one is spared, no one is clean_  
_It travels places you've never been or seen before_

 _The scary part, the aftershock, the moment it takes to fall apart_  
_The time we have, the task at hand, the love it takes to destroy a man_  
_The ecstasy, the being free, the big black cloud over you and me_  
_And after that, the upwards fall, and were we angels after all?_  
_I don't know, I don't know..._

 _The night starts here, the night starts here, forget your name, forget your fear_  
_The night starts here, the night starts here, forget your name, forget your fear_  
_You drop a coin into the sea, and shout out "Please come back to me"_  
_You name your child after your fear, and tell them "I have brought you here"_  
_The night starts here..._

 **42 - coldplay**  
_Those who are dead are not dead_  
_They’re just living in my head_  
_And since I fell for that spell_  
_I am living there as well_

 _You thought you might be a ghost_  
_You thought you might be a ghost_  
_You didn’t get to heaven but you made it close_  
_You didn’t get to heaven but you made it close_

 **etcetera whatever - over the rhine**  
_You think you have no other gift to give,  
but we have so much left to live_

 _We don't need a lot of money._  
_We'll be sleeping on the beach,_  
_keeping oceans within reach._  
_(Whatever private oceans we can conjure up for free.)_  
_I will stumble there with you_  
_and you'll be laughing close with me,_  
_trying not to make a scene_  
_etcetera. Whatever. I guess all I really mean_

 _is we're gonna be all right._  
_Yeah, we're gonna be all right._  
_You can close your eyes tonight,_  
_'cause we're gonna be all right._

 _So come on now,_  
_I can almost see_  
_that place_  
_on a distant shore._  
_And courage is a weapon we must use_  
_to find some life you can't refuse._

 **notes from the underground - sarah slean**  
_Tears on a borrowed bed_  
_'Tween walls that are painted somebody else's red._  
_If you hear me cry out, calling out to say_  
_It's all right, love, you're in good hands_

 _They don't trust the likes of you and I_  
_They kick our verses aside_  
_But we know the road is wide, that's why_

 _Still out on the roof_  
_Howling on the moon_  
_Exiles_  
_Another exile in the kingdom_  
_Still out on the roof_  
_I'm a dreamer too_  
_Exiles_  
_We are exiles_  
_We two_

 **firefly - don peris**  
_Good-night_  
_You'll wake up in the morning with the sunshine_  
_You'll wake up in the morning with the bells of the earth_

 _And hey_  
_I can say the world is beautiful_  
_Sometimes_  
_I sit up in the kitchen while the rain falls_  
_I sit up in the kitchen with my radio_

 _And hey..._  
_Don't cry_  
_The sound you hear is just a car going by_  
_The light you see is just a firefly_

 **euphoria (firefly) - delerium**  
_And how I've loved_  
_And I have served_  
_And I have sinned_  
_but I have learnt_  
_As long as you are true to the life that you live_  
_This is the time to feel love_

 _I feel a stirring deep within_  
_Slowly picking up momentum_  
_Like the tide coming in to shore_  
_Over and under in its course_

 _I never want to lose, what I have finally found_  
_There's a requiem, a new congregation_  
_And it's telling me to go forward_  
_And walk under a brighter sky_  
_Every nerve like a firefly_

 **grace descending - god is an astronaut**  
_[instrumental]_

 **truly (feat. nerina pallot) - delerium**  
_I know good things, I know bad as well_  
_Any witness to the world will tell_  
_If there is sorrow, then there is beauty and trust_  
_A secret pearl inside the heart of us_

 _And there is magic now, under blood-red trees,_  
_All the sky will scream a mystery_  
_And if we're strangers here, from the day we are born_  
_Why be afraid of freedom if it is yours?_

 _So truly, if there's light then I want to see it_  
_Now that I know what I am looking for_  
_Truly, if there's joy then I want to feel it_  
_Here in this world is where I want to be_  
_'Cause I can't cry anymore_

 **the great storm is over - john mccutcheon**  
_"Hush, little baby, a story I will tell  
Of a love that has vanquished the powers of hell"_

 _Alleluia, the great storm is over_  
_Lift up your wings and fly_  
_Alleluia, the great storm is over_  
_lift up your wings and fly_

 _Sweetness on the air and justice on the wind_  
_Laughter in the house where the mourners had been_  
_The deaf shall have music, the blind have new eyes_  
_The standards of death taken down by surprise_

 _"Hush, little baby, let go of your fears_  
_The Lord loves his own and your mother is here"_  
_The babe fell asleep as the lantern did burn_  
_The mother kept on singing 'til her bridegroom's return_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * I'm working out this theory for a big Doctor Who crossover that Remus and Tonks were extremely important in preventing basically a werewolf uprising, and that's why somebody (don't know who just yet) tweaked the timelines a little so they'd be killed in the Battle of Hogwarts. It's also why it's totally okay for Teddy and the Doctor to save them because they weren't actually supposed to die in the first place; NO REALLY THEY WEREN'T. (That's also why this mix, and the one preceding it, are included in my "Time & Werewolves" series, the whole point of which was to have Teddy and the Doctor going on adventures that ultimately resulted in restoring a timeline where Remus and Tonks didn't die.)


End file.
